"My child is teased and called at school. But, I am afraid if I interfere directly, only still I will spoil more..." How there was a wish to protect the kid from problems, there are situations which your child has to learn to solve independently. The best help from the parent will be to teach the child as it is correct to cope with similar difficulties to save itself in the future.
We consider that these 8 vital rules will help your child grow up happy and self-assured.
Problem: The schoolmate asks to allow to write off on control. Your child agrees, and as a result the teacher on a table has two identical works, and assessment is underestimated, of course, to the one who actually isn't guilty.
Decision: Explain to the child that thus he depreciates himself and the spent forces, he learned and prepared to control, and someone just uses his knowledge. To teach the child to refuse, advise him to answer at first: "I haven't made yet. When I make everything, I will help you, don't distract me". The reasoned formulation will give to the kid confidence in the actions and will only teach to do in the future that he really wants.
Problem: Schoolmates scoff at your child — call him and tease. The kid doesn't want to go to school because to be there for him the real moral torture.
Decision: In a similar situation parents shouldn't interfere with the conflict directly as it can worsen the child's situation in a class only. Explain to the kid that problems not at him, and at the instigator, due to insult of others he tries to prove to be more abrupt, than he is actually. The most effective way of a solution — to show to the offender that his words don't touch you. If the child laughs in response to insults and very clearly to show that it is nonsenses, then, without seeing the expected reaction, children will stop doing it. Similar approach learns to get out of the situation the winner, without using force.
Problem: Every time when the child receives a low mark, at him begins a hysterics. He cries that couldn't make better. He is afraid to show the diary, parents will swear.
Decision: Many parents in the aspiration to give to the child at most of knowledge and the best education put fear to receive a bad note in consciousness of the kid. Naturally, the progress is important, but the child shouldn't be afraid to come back home with a bad note in the diary. You shouldn't shout or abuse him. Show to the child that your love to him doesn't depend on progress. Has unsuccessfully written control? Nothing terrible, you will be prepared better next time and you will surely correct! Such relation to failures will help the child not to be afraid of difficulties in the future.
Problem: The child tells about how at school scoff at the schoolmate, and this situation is unpleasant to him, but he is afraid to rise in defense weak.
Decision: Most of children are afraid to help weak as are afraid to appear on the place of the victim. The same fear pursues us and when we are already adult: we see how people offend, for example, those who cost below them on a social ladder, but usually just silently we turn away. Therefore it is so important to inform of a thought the child that force consists in compassion and ability to come to the rescue. You ask for help with the house of the child and trust him to bear responsibility for the younger brother, the cousin or even just little kitten — thus the child will learn sympathy and will feel in himself forces to resist to a problem.
Problem: At first school, then circles, sports sections, tutors and homework. The child looks exhausted and tired, and in the fresh air prefers to walks with peers lying in a bed.
Decision: For the best parents try to paint literally constantly everyday life of the child that he has reached in life as it is possible bigger, well and "that evil thoughts in the head didn't climb". However in these rushes they forget to teach the main thing: only that, what are you doing for pleasure, brings joy and the true success. Allow the child to allocate every day at least one hour for what he loves: computer games, prefix, soccer or drawing.
Problem: The child is closed in himself and is very constraining. Prefers to stay at home in the room and with anybody not to communicate.
Decision: Write down the child in sports section. Important note: it is worth choosing team sports. The group of teammates with whom it is necessary to communicate within the general interest and business will liberate your kid. He will have new friends and hobbies, besides the sport develops self-confidence and the body. Also parents should reject own prejudices and to write down the child on classes only in that direction which is pleasant to him. For example, your son likes to dance. Means, write down it on dances, but not on soccer in any way, otherwise the sport will only irritate and will give boomerang effect.
Problem: "Masha has very beautiful hair, and Katya has eyes as at the heroine of my favourite animated cartoon. And I ugly" — sooner or later children begin to compare themselves to others that can develop then into huge complexes.
Decision: No matter, the son at you or the daughter, any child wants to feel beautiful and talented. Therefore you praise the kid, give compliments to his appearance. If the child has an idol, then show him to the photo in the childhood / to glory / without photoshop. Such examples perfectly show that all of us aren't ideal, but nevertheless all of us unique and special.
And to what vital truth you teach the children? Share the answer in comments.